Expectations...A Good or Bad Thing?

Expectations are everywhere... Spouses on each other, bosses on employees, Parents on kids, and everyone has expectations for themselves.  One thing those self-induced expectations can lead to, is being frustrated with yourself.  Whether it is in your personal life, work, or your round of golf, self-induced expectations can leave someone with a low self worth.  --- How many of you have said to yourself on the number 1 tee  "I want to break 90 today", then by the 15th you have already reached that 90?  ---- We all have done it at some point.  If you change your thinking to "let's see how many fairways and greens I can hit today."  You have then set a goal and process to break 90.  

So let's change our outcome-oriented expectations and focus on process-oriented expectations. Lets first review what both of these types of expectations are:

Outcome-Oriented Expectations:

1. "I want to win my handicap division in the next event"
2. "I want to have 30 or fewer putts today"
3. "I don't want to hit it out of bounds"
4. "I want to make 5 birdies today"
5. "I want to Break 80 for the first time today"

There's a theme there... WANT....

Process-Oriented Expectations:

1. I am going to commit to each shot and execute my game plan.
2. I am going to trust my read on the greens and make sure I give every putt a chance to going in.  Missing on the high side and long today.
3. I will pick targets for each shot that will allow me to have fewer penalty shots.
4. I am going to play to the big part of every green, so I have more opportunities to make birdies.
5. I am going to trust my game today and commit to each shot.  Play the correct shot each time that will allow me to make more pars and birdies. I am going to play smart out of trouble, so bogey is the worst score I card.

There's another common theme here.... GOING TO....

Where do expectations come from?

For many, expectations come from how you want to be perceived by others (self image).  For many kids and some adults, they may come from what you perceive your coaches and parents think about you or your golf game.  I caution parents and coaches about what they say to their kids and students.  Words can never be taken back and once they are out there, most people have already attached meaning to the words spoken.  

At the bottom of the blog, there is a list of books that I encourage you as a student, parent or coach to read.

How do we change our expectations?

We need to redefine what success in golf actually entails. Is success a score or a process? We can control our process, but we really cannot control the outcome (remember Tiger's wedge shot on #15 at the Masters that hit the pin and bounced into the water?). 

One day, one round, and one shot at a time.  Some days will be harder than others, but keep focused on the process to achieve your goals. Break it down to something simple that you want to change. 

Books to Read:

Golf Parent for the Future - Co-authored by Lynn Marriott and Pia Nilsson (Vision 54 Co-Founders)
Mind Gym : An Athlete's Guide to Inner Excellence - by Gary Mack with David Casstevens
Golf is Not a Game of Perfect - by Dr. Bob Rotella
The Ten Commandments of Mindpower Golf - by Dr. Robert Winters


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